Rally Round the Flag

(from the CD Stark Raving Songs)

I'm a good old boy from Texas
And I agree with Dad
America is perfect
And the rest of the world is bad
Mexico is filled with lazy
Low down scum from hell
And the Cubans are sub-humans
Especially Fidel
Rally round the flag boys
This is Judgment Day
The time has come to go and blow
The whole entire Arab World away.
Texas Number One.

When we're up in Washington
The boys and me agree
The best people to run this world
Will be the boys and me
The Russians are too sneaky
The Chinese are too sly
And just like Daddy said to me
The Arabs always lie
Rally round the flag boys
It's time for the attack
Let's go kill some vicious little
Kindergarten children in Iraq.
My daddy's proud of me.

The rag heads got it coming
We'll blow them all to hell
And if the frogs complain
We'll flatten France as well
And if the krauts keep criticizing us
I could get even meaner
I may do to Berlin
What Truman did to Hiroshima
Rally round the flag boys
Freedoms never free
Someone's got to pay but you can
Bet your sorry arse it won't be me.
I get to wear the flight suit.

It's time we sent the message
Uncle Sam knows best
We'll show the ones we leave alive
The proper way to dress
We'll teach them who to worship
We'll tell them how to pray
We'll turn their cities into suburbs
Of the good old USA
Rally round the flag boys
There's darkness everywhere
Help me make the world a brighter place
For Texan billionaires.
God Bless the GOP.

We'll go back to Vietnam
And finish off the Gooks
This time we won't fight at all
We'll just send in the nukes
While we're in the neighborhood
We'll finish off the Japs, in fact
All of Asia may be safer if we
Wipe it off the map
Rally round the flag boys
Let's kick some foreign butt
Let's sic the entire US war machine
On a family in a hut.
That'll learn them a lesson.

The world is full of critics
But I don't even care
I've got my British sidekick
Good Old Tony Brown Nose Blair
Let them say I'm arrogant
Let them say I'm dumb
Who's going to even hear them
When we're busy dropping bombs?
Rally round the flag boys
Lift your heads with pride
Thank your lucky stars and stripes
That God is on our side.
We'll civilize the world.