We're All Going to Croak

(from the CD Stark Raving Songs)

I'm eating my greens and I'm turning in early
I'm off of the whiskey and wine
I've cut out the coffee and quit cigarettes
I feel like I'm losing my mind
I'm jogging and biking and rowing and hiking
And throwing balls into the air
My life is so boring that when death comes calling
I doubt if I'll even care.

We're all going to croak
We're all going to die
We're all going to go
Bye-bye, bye-bye.

I guess I'll be making some changes
When they lower me into the ground
I guess that my days will be different
I guess that I'll finally slow down
There'll be no more shadows for boxing
And no miracles for me to run
There'll be no more preening and prancing
And posing and putzing about in the sun.

I'm ready to go any moment
Whenever my turn comes around
I'm ready to kick off my runners
As soon as the trumpets may sound
So bring on the T. Bones and bring on the limos
And bring on the nude dancing girls
Crack out the champagne and let's drink a toast
To the happiest corpse in the world.